Mary was one of the many people who I’ve been fortunate enough to cross paths with in my life. Her wisdom continues to help and occasionally, haunt me. This morning I found myself agitated after being on the receiving end of someone’s criticism. I thought their words were judgmental and meanly sarcastic. I went out to the garden and began to weed, nature working its’ magic, my breath slowing and deepening, calmness returning.
Mary, one of many amazing mentors I’ve had in my life, floated into my mind along with a conversation we had almost 30 years ago. At the time I recall that someone’s behavior was bothering me and I was telling Mary about it. (The fact that I can’t remember what was bothering me or who I was trashing with my words is a valuable life lesson in itself.) Mary listened to me and when I’d run out of words she quietly said one thing, “Go ahead and take their inventory, Di, and then sign it because it’s yours”. What?!? Mary explained that any time I notice a behavior in another, that behavior is something I used to do, am doing now, or am capable of doing. Over time, even though it can be annoying to acknowledge, I have found her statement to be true, whether I admire or dislike traits in another.
During my garden time, I realized that I have indeed been recently judging someone in my life and while recently talking with my spouse about the situation, my old habit of using sarcasm reared its’ ugly head. Ahhhhh! Busted!! If Mary were here, she’d laugh with me, remind me that we all make mistakes and then she’d say something like, “We are all doing the best we can at any given moment, Di. Have grace with others, let things go, take the focus off them and put it on yourself. The only person you can change is you.” Thank you, Mary. Your patience, kindness and wisdom live on……